Gossip and War
by Wordgawk
Summary: Lancer gives in to his impish, talkative side.


**Author's note: My tribute to the Servant who should have lasted much, much, longer in the game. Lancer, you _devil. _And Rin is so cute.**

**Story is based on the Unlimited Blade Works scenario in the Fate game.**

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><p><span>Gossip and War<span>

Lancer made a mental checklist as he walked the shrubbery path leading out of Einzbern's castle. One, get out of this deep forest. Two, beat Caster. And three, tease the little miss with him before doing all that. Lancer had told that fine lad Emiya that he was going to have his jolly good time with Tohsaka on this walk back. He was allies with them for the moment and what a smart move he made to team up. They were decent people in spite of the pressures of them being Masters.

Tohsaka -Rin, wasn't it?- became all aflutter because of Emiya's declaration that she was off-limits to the Servant. Sure, Lancer figured that out before Emiya made his demand over questioning Lancer about his Master, but to actually hear the boy incensed in his bashful way was amusing. Protect a girl he cared for over finding out precious information pertaining to the war which meant life or death? Lancer grew a liking for the noble kid.

The little lady stalked ahead the two guys. Emiya was in deep thought and at a respectable distance from her potential wrath. His distraction gave Lancer the well-opportune opening to enjoy himself.

Sliding up next to the Master of her mightily irritating bowman, Lancer sounded casual as could be. "So, I have a question."

"I thought I told you not to talk to us," Rin retorted, harking back on their previous conversation in the castle about idle chit chat between future enemies.

He already told her he was the kind of guy to grab a pint and kick back with an acquaintance, but where there was fighting and mayhem and death and urgency concerned, Lancer felt she could use a freshener. "Lighten up, missie. What's the harm in making conversation? It's my nature."

Rin relented and rolled those beautiful blue-green eyes at him tolerantly. "Fine. What's your question?"

Lancer glanced over his shoulder at the lad, who was still in his own world some few safe feet behind them. Good. Lancer leaned in to Rin's ear. "It's a rather... special inquiry."

"Muh." Rin didn't sound convinced a Servant could talk in clandestine terms. Servants were all about tactics, guile, and kill orders.

Here he went. Lancer grinned widely, reveling in the chaos to come. For the sake of showing respect since this _was_ a private chat, kept his voice low. "You and Emiya, there. I've seen the way you two make eyes at each other. Have you guys sealed the deal?"

"What?" Rin shrieked in a burst, almost shattering Lancer's sensitive hearing, but he smartly clapped his hands over his ears during mid-yell.

Aw yeah, she knew what he meant without needing elaboration. She was a smart lass.

Lancer continued with ease. "You two are so close. From what I understand of women, men, and intimacy, those three things go hand-in-hand. And hands do go, when intimacy is involved." Lancer felt his canines flash.

A pretty red glow lit Rin's face in sheer horror. "I-I-I'm not telling you, you- pervert!" She glared straight ahead, boring mental holes into the trunks of stretching trees. With her magical prowess, those sights of nature really could incinerate.

"I'm _not_ a pervert." Indignant, Lancer made that fact perfectly clear by enunciating with much lip movement. How his open honesty deemed him a sicko confounded him. As if to add authenticity to his statement, Lancer placed his spread right hand over his heart. Darn right he would keep a secret guarded. "I am a comrade. By my Irish blood and honor, I will keep your confidences intact."

"Comrade? You tried to kill Shirou!" Now the fiery woman was finally staring in his way.

Ok, Lancer couldn't fault that logic. He held up his hands palm up to placate Rin. "It wasn't personal. He saw something no normal human should have and I had to dispose of him. If you saw a stranger butting in to your business and you were in my position, wouldn't you stop him by any means?"

Rin pursed her lips together in thought. Damn cute if Lancer said so himself.

Rin eventually nodded in agreement. "Well, I guess so."

Score! One trust point for the Servant who was not merely agile in footwork, but could disarm a woman's screaming rage. He was especially proud; his lack of expertise dealing with the opposite gender wasn't a trait he fondly wanted to share with everyone.

Their bond was congealing and Lancer did not lay on the ground in a defeated mass. Lancer wiggled his eyebrows salaciously. "So you'll tell me about you two?"

The straitjacket of rigidity held Rin's upright body stiff as a board. "No! It's personal."

Silence fell between them. _More with this personal stuff, huh?_ He figured if topics tread to the delicate side of humans, he'd never get to hear anything good if he asked directly.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Rin mashing her lips together and blushing, obviously thinking about herself and the kid and their relationship. They had a relationship with reciprocating emotions and no amount of denying on the lady's part was going to convince Lancer otherwise. He wasn't buying it.

Sighing loudly, Lancer got it. Ok, no talk of the explicits of a mattress mambo. He'll respect her wish.

He slid a lidded gaze at the girl, then up to the barren trees and dreary sky. Rin's face held its pink flush, but appeared calmer.

Their steps lightly crunched branch twigs and shuffled dry leaves. The silence prolonged what seemed to be indefinitely. Lancer chirped in controlled conversational precision, "Did Shirou feel absolutely amazing?"

A girly smile of dreaminess creeped into Rin's expression, her eyes glazed as she looked far ahead. "We haven't gone that far. Absolutely doesn't describe it when he's near me. I can't fathom how- ah!" She immediately slapped her hand over her mouth to mute her revealing babble. Her entire face colored beet red. Lancer was already grinning at his subtle win.

He didn't mind the flailing whirlwind of smacks his arm received. Oh, what a precious thing Rin Tohsaka was. He wondered how this fifth Holy Grail war would've been like with her as his Master. Many more welts, he presumed. But damn, they would be worth them.

Once Rin stopped abusing his body, she refused to meet his eyes and tried to walk faster to ignore him. Her long hair trailed behind her like ebony gossamer.

Lancer licked his lips and stepped faster. He wasn't going to be that easy to lose. "Now there are no secrets between us. You can confide in me, _aye_."

"Why are you so interested?" Rin blazed heatedly, throwing her hands in the air in frustration. "Do you have some demented fetish at hearing this type of stuff?"

It was the Servant's turn to hesitate. Nobody ever asked outright about his interest before. He really didn't have a fetish, as she put it. All this knowledge was for storage in case he came across a chance to woo a lass in the repeatable summoned future. That is, if he could remember what he learned in his next summon.

Lancer absently scratched his cheek. "No, I'm not weird. I... want to hear a woman's side of the process."

" 'Woman's side'?" Rin repeated flatly. She contemplated his request, then a conniving expression reserved for her appeared. She pointed a lively finger at him. "Oh ho, are you in the market for female advice? Juicy tidbits about us which men don't grasp?"

Hearing his true need so blatantly exposed turned up the heat in Lancer's face. He found his normally unruffled mouth tripping over his next words. "H-Ha, you can't be serious? I want entertainment. B-better this walk be filled with something good than boring." What Lancer said didn't make sense to his own understanding.

"You are weird, Lancer." The statement was not ill-bearing.

And Lancer felt his awareness peak. "Oh, it sounds delightful."

Rin quirked a brow at his odd response. "You like hearing you're strange?"

"Say my name again." His veins sang in joy.

"Lancer?"

"That's it!" The Irishman exhaled happily. Hearing his name coming from her mouth was like a contract between them.

His imagination ran unchecked. Rin Tohsaka, his Master, arm outstretched towards her enemy in deadly magus combat, calls for Lancer's assistance. The pleats of her short skirt flutters from an ambient swirl of wind around her slim legs. Her pinning stare withers her adversary to shame as she plots brilliance to foil and perplex.

A delightful shiver tickled Lancer's spine at the notion of the courageous mana wielder being his. Possibilities bounced rampantly inside his head.

Rin let him be in his private bubble for she turned to the path ahead and said nothing.

Recovering his attention without difficulty, Lancer returned. The silly musings, no matter how charming they were, wasn't going to distract Lancer from reality. He knew she was never going to be his Master in this lifetime. The rare fact was, Masters like her existed. The kind of leaders who invoked interactions instead of incantations of one-sided orders with no room for refutes. Both methods were viable in a fight and Lancer wouldn't complain as long as results were in his favor. Still, life seemed awfully better with spoken spice between Masters and Servants.

Rin, the one not in his imagination, huffed ever so slightly. Her mumbling about being stuck with him was mostly incoherent but detectable.

From behind her, Lancer watched again her tresses dance from side to side. A sashay of interchanging and graceful swings while her grumbling mood took a less refined course. He recalled what got this spiel puttering and he smirked.

"Emiya's a good guy."

"Eh?" Rin glanced questioningly at him.

"You haven't beat him up."

"So what if I haven't?"

"You don't want to hurt the ones you love." Lancer jeered playfully, but he did mean his words.

"Shut up! I- don't love him. You're totally off." Rin took his jest to serious consideration and answered with honesty, then she backpedaled in an embarrassed rush, "I mean, what a dumb joke of yours. You're no comedian, _Lancer._" Rin tossed him a glare over her shoulder. Her harsh gaze fell further behind and softened a touch when it settled on the lagging figure who just realized how out of it he was and began jogging to keep up their pace.

Switching his observant gaze between Emiya's apologetic expression and Rin's adoring one, Lancer chuckled. Frosty exterior and bubbling hot interior. She really was something.

Lancer blithely hooked his arms behind his head and stared upwards. The sky didn't seem so blah. This stroll wasn't boring in the least. "Whatever you say, missie."

- THE END -


End file.
